I’ve lost my Instagram account. I didn’t have a massive following. I was sitting at right about 2k which, while certainly not placing me in the influencer category, is fairly decent for an art account.
So what did I do to lose my account, you ask. Did I post hate? Did I post inflammatory content? Did I spam people? Did I buy likes and followers? Nope! I used a third party app to track unfollowers. You see, I noticed that every few days I’d lose something like four or five followers and I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t following those people either.
Instagram informed me that the use of this third party app violated their terms of service and so they shut my account down. I of course appealed their decision but to no avail.
What I’ve learned from this is that the majority of people who were following me don’t care about me. I’m not saying all the people; just the majority.
I’ve learned that I, who preached not to get caught up in the numbers, got caught up in the numbers.
I’ve learned that the art industry is a merciless machine that uses artists until they’ve not a drop of inspiration left and then spits them out in favor of the next eager, fresh face.
I’ve learned that I was living too much online. I was pouring too much of myself into a platform of people who largely didn’t give two shits about me.
I’ve learned that I need to create for myself. Not to show off, not to get praise, not to get likes, not to get follows, not to get patted on the head and told what a good girl I am. I need to create because I want to; because it is a part of who I am.
I’ve learned that I’m largely unappreciated. My Dudes Craft, Too interview series gave a lot of exposure to male artists and I’ve been told was a large part of why many companies now actively seek out men to be a part of their design teams. Only one of those men sought me out after noticing my sudden departure.
I’ve learned that the internet is full of people who want to use you for their own gain.
I’ve learned that online I’m unimportant. Unnecessary. Unwanted. Unneeded. Uncared for.
Here I am throwing myself a little pity party but it’s true.
If you were to disappear online how many people would notice and how long would it take before anyone tried to reach out to you?
Until next time,
If, by some chance, you are one of the people who was following me who actually liked me, here’s the link to my new Instagram account.