On Drama

I was in a group on Facebook once and a question was posed one day; tell us about a drama going on in a community you’re a part of that no one outside that community would understand.

I said card making drama. I received many incredulous reactions because who could believe that such a seemingly benign hobby could garner any amount of drama?

Garner drama it does. I’ve been caught up in two card making related drama-fests myself now which makes me wonder if I’m a part of the problem.

When the same thing keeps happening to you over and over you must examine whether or not you are a part of the issue. I think that I am a part of the issue.

I am a poor judge of character for one. I’ve found that even after someone shows me their true colors I keep believing in them and seeing what I want to see when I should instead be running away as fast as I can.

My other fault is that I have a bad habit of bottling things up instead of confronting issues immediately. I hate confrontation and so what happens is I’ll avoid it, stuff the feelings, avoid it, stuff the feelings, avoid it, stuff the feelings until one day KABOOM; all the things come out in an angry, hostile torrent.

My other fault; I’m an extremely nice person but I have a viciousness inside me that comes out when I or someone I care for has been crossed. Typically it’s the latter since I tend to avoid conflict. To everyone who has borne the brunt of my viciousness unfairly I apologize.

I’ve said nasty things, I’ve gossiped, I’ve stood by the wrong people, I’ve spoken when I should have been silent, I’ve been silent when I should have spoken, I’ve attacked, I’ve unfairly judged people… really the list goes on and on. Point is I own my part in any drama in which I’ve been embroiled.

I truly am a part of the problem.

So then, what to do? What do you do when you’ve screwed up, when you’ve upset people, when the Goonies on the internets are after you? Aside from owning your shit and ignoring them there’s not much you can do. Let them throw their rotten tomatoes, let them call you names. Tomorrow there will be another target they’ll be going after.

Just never stop striving to do better, to be better, and to learn from your mistakes. Oh, and always believe someone when they show you who they really are. A rabid wolf will never be a cute puppy. Never.

Until next time,

Samantha